Last year at this time I started seriously pondering some Important Life Choices. What I want to do with my life, where I want to live, (the type of person) who I want to love. I did a lot of thinking. I posted moody lyrics on Facebook:
This year, things are… different. And the same. And different. Now summer’s almost over – well, there were a few mornings here that had me burrowing under the covers, but next week temperatures are back around 90 – and I’m here on my same brown loveseat in my little living room in my charming neighborhood, balancing my laptop on my lap, watching too much TV, drinking too much wine.
I haven’t given up on those life goals that I was pondering a year ago. In fact, I spent a lot of 2011 chipping away at them, plotting my course… but a lot of the time, it was hard for me to see the fruits of my labor. This week, without any fanfare, I was given a gift of a message:
This whole past year, I’ve been trying to make things happen and throwing out all these expectations and predictions and just wantingwantingwanting it all to happen nowwww! When the leaves started sprouting on my treehouse-tree at the start of summer, I felt panicky: I haven’t achieved all the things I want to achieve by now! Aiii!
Not everything happens on a perfect timetable. No one is looking down on me because I haven’t accomplished what I wanted to (I hope). It’s all… okay. It’s okay.
So I’ve got a quiet little voice in my head these past few days, telling myself: do your best. slow down. don’t give up.